This has been quite the semester so far and I can’t believe it’s already November. NOVEMBER! Where did the year go? In truth, 2010 has been a pretty rough year. My emotions have been on a crazed roller coaster and my mind has been everywhere and anywhere.
Lately, I’ve been feeling… weird. Strange. Odd. Not myself. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like it. I’m either really, really happy or the lowest of lows. There’s been no happy medium and it’s been scaring me because I really can’t control it. I know I’ve been stressed and extremely overwhelmed, but usually I can either hide my frustration or control it. Lately, I just can’t. I can’t focus in classes or concentrate one work. I have no drive to get to class and just don’t care about the curriculum. I want to either be sleeping, writing or reading, but it seems like I don’t even have time to breathe.
It isn’t the break-up that’s making me feel this way because I’ve been feeling this way all year and now it’s just really becoming noticeable. I really don’t know what is making these emotions come forward, but they need to be controlled. I’ll try everything in my power to find my happy medium because I can’t take these psycho changes in moods much longer.
In truth, I’m doing well with the break-up. It’s just the idea of it not working out after a second try that’s been killing me. I really thought it would work and now we both know it wont. However, everyone seems to have someone – a best friend or a boy/girlfriend. I truly don’t know where I stand lately and maybe that’s another reason for these crazy emotions. However, it may just be my reaction.
I wish I could pick up my phone and call my brother. I’d cry to him and ask him what I can do to rearrange my life. He would have a blunt, honest opinion that would shock me and bring me back to reality. Instead, I’m here fighting to find the answer on my own.