a beehive, lack of editing time and a painful month.

So far, this semester has been okay.  Luckily, I’ve had more ups than downs which is much better than last year at this time. My classes aren’t too tough (except for Sociology of the Family. The professor likes to fail all of our quizzes), I’m working with two amazing D.R.I.V.E. students and being an RA for the three D.R.I.V.E. boys has been a great experience thus far. The only disappointing aspect I have faced has been my lack of time to write, edit and read.

I know I need to study, focus on my GPA, work on ‘For the Kids’ as well as RA, but I miss having time to write and work on Noon. I feel like I’m leaving a whole world behind me and the characters are frozen in time until I can come back to them. Weird how writers get so attached to their characters.  It really does become a family. I’m hoping to go to the Unicorn Writers Conference in April because there looks to be a lot of great workshops and the agent who seemed most interested hosts that conference. Even if that face-to-face chance fails, at least I tried again. I will not give up because no one gives up on their passion.

The next month will be filled with emotions that no one really understands. Three years ago and two days after my 20th birthday, my brother had the stroke that led to the discovery of the cancer that took his life 26 days later. My biggest regret to this day is not calling him back after he wished me Happy Birthday via voice-mail. This year, on my 23rd Birthday, I made sure to call back my big sister who left a beautiful message with my nephews. The past month has been rough and I’ve woken in the middle of the night crying because it just doesn’t make sense. I constantly want to ask why it happened to my family, why I survived and why my parents had to suffer through two of their children having cancer. However, it all comes back to this point: “Don’t ask why.” By asking that question, it will just drive you insane.

With that, all I can ask is this: Are you still beside me with every step I take?  Are you there to wipe my tears when I miss you too much to breathe? Will you never leave my side because I need to live on for myself, but especially for my hero too.